I cannot believe that this entire
week full of volleyball championships, Gretchen Ho, Wensh Tiu, Manila Clasico,
and Junel Baculi's moment of "I need to make a bad decision in my coaching
career right now." in replacing Justin Williams, will be overshadowed by
some series that must be produced by one of the Kardashians; the Petronovela.
Season I recap: Olsen Racela was the
head coach and Rajko Toroman is the "Team Consultant" (Seriously,
what does this do? Coach the head coach?) on paper. In reality, Toroman is Jack
Sparrow while Olsen was the parrot (And Jay Washington is the maltreated slave
in the ship. Even though it was or it was not in the movie, every pirate ship
has one maltreated slave.). Petron kept on losing. Management threw Toroman
away, and Petron kept losing. The consolation they've got? Stability in the
coaching department. Maybe they needed that one more than wins (cut to Jay
Washington throwing the mop away and happily hopping all over the ship.).
Season II: Here we are right now.
Just when we all thought it was over, somebody ordered a second season of it.
Since it's still relatively new, we can break it down episode by episode.
Prologue: The star of the series is
named Renaldo Balkman. Former NBA player and the import of the Petron Blaze
Boosters. 6'6" dude, athletic, plays like he's drinking Red Bull all the
time, and he has tattoos in his eyelids. 5-1 win-loss record in hia name,
greater than expected averages, and he has tattoos in his eyelids.
Episode 1: The Bad Day
- They were up against an Alaska team
who is playing the most incredible basketball since Tim Cone left them... and
they came from a loss prior to that game. Every team's mindset after a loss is
bounce back... and bounce back they did in the usual awesome fashion. Going to
the other side, Petron is not having their usual day even though Alex Cabagnot
was back. While Petron is not having their usual game, Balkman is having a very
bad day. He went like two out of infinity in the field, and Alaska defended him
so well. Come the final 20 seconds of
the game, after missing a lightly defended shot his tantrums started, beginning
with the referees (Someone forgot to tell him the very important note in PBA
officiating: one does not simply understand PBA referees.). Then he started to
see all red and Digivolved to a Spanish toro, shoving everyone behind looking
for that red cloth. Then Arwind Santos came in trying to sober up Balkman. Just
as Arwind pushed him back, Balkman saw the red cloth in Arwind's neck, thus the
choking that was seen around the world. It was already past 10 PM and sports
news are still blowing up with items from the strangling incident.
Episode 2: AKTV Center
- Balkman was scheduled to guest even
before Petronovela Season II existed, so AKTV people were in luck! Ratings!
Plus Manila Clasico was happening... Ratings! Balkman and Arwind making up...
Bullshit! Just kidding... but seriously, I was making fun of the entire
incident by that night. Here are some unpublished tweets that got stuck in my
head.
Sinakal mo ako sa harap ng
sambayanang Pilipino. #youdontdothattome
While Balkman choking Arwind,
" Yo mama taste like Honey Nut Cheerios!"
Latrell Sprewell picture,
"That Renaldo Balkman... he's my greatest student..."
WWE Creative might be calling
Balkman right now to tag him up with Kane.
But really, that sequence in the AKTV
center was so uncomfortable. Perhaps they should've used a guest host too to
interview them, like Cristy Fermin???
Episode 3: The Commissioner's Office
- Balkman, and probably the entire
organization, said that he's willing to accept the punishment the league will
impose in him. Commissioner Chito Salud might have said, "ah ganon ah...
sige eto parusa mo!"
250,000 Php fine.
Lifetime ban in the league.
Balkman is not saying a word up to
now... as we know it, presumably he accepted his fate. Before we get to the
fourth episode, allow me to make my opinion regarding the sanction...
If he had choked somebody in the
Alaska team instead, he might have escaped the ban for life part. He has
atleast an ounce of logical reason to choke an opposing player. He caressed
my butt or breathed into my ears might give him a reason to do that.
But choking a team mate? Why??? Because Arwind played bad that's why they are
losing? If that was the case, then Arwind should have strangled Balkman
instead, because he was so terrible in that game. Absence of proper reasoning
was the merit of the sanctions... FOR ME.
Then accountability kicks in. We're
gonna hear this word an awful lot of times this season so pay attention.
Balkman choked Arwind in front of a decent-size crowd, in front of a live TV,
on a very important game, on a Friday night. Using some Newton's Law of
Broadcast Relativity Rating (I totally made that up, but sounding it more
scientific makes it more believable.), some six million people saw it
nationwide... and square that a couple of times due to Internet sharing and
memes. Some 30 million people saw what he did to his team mate. Even if he
apologizes to Arwind and to the fans, what he did was wrong and some 30 million
people can attest to that. And that some 30 million people would say, "We
accept your apology but you have to pay for what you did so you'd never ever do
that again." For the league, they're protecting their interest of
"that should never happen again", thus imposing such sanctions. Yes
the penalty was harsh, but the absence of reasoning in his actions resulted in
a pretty harsh incident that was seen by a pretty harsh number of people.
Kwits!
Episode 4 (I thought we'd never get
here): Upper Management.
His agent thought it was too harsh.
Coaching staff thougt it was too harsh. Upper management thought it was too
harsh. And some motherfucking idiot gave upper management the idea of
"re-evaluating" their participation in the PBA. It's still a
relatively small incident really; not as huge as steroids or fil-shams or
downright terrible Harlem Shake videos. It doesn't warrant an involvement from the
upper-upper management, where the three SMC teams are involved. Just because
your temporary recruit misbehaved so bad, you wanna re-evaluate your
participation in the league? One player lost his job and you're thinking about
losing the job of 70 others from your own people???? It's like SMC tolerating
and SUPPORTING the action of their foreign recruit whic put their OWN player in
harm's way. God! I wanna shoot that idiot in the head and feed his brains to
the zombies!
Follow me: @sirjaydelacruz
Mail me: jhaydelacruz46915@gmail.com
